What Do the Alone Do on New Years

Well I guess the answer is nothing... LOL...or maybe something...kiddies this seems to be the most low key New Years ever...and yet again... the kissing bandit...seemingly has no one to kiss when the count down happens.

But don't cry for me Argentina... I mean I am the kissing bandit... and the New Year doesn't just stop with the ball drop at Midnite...so I have time... I'm actually looking forward to 2011 and all that it may or may not entail...life has an interesting way of surprising you and I love that.

Didn't find my Mr. Right this year... but hey...If God gives me a chance to wake up everyday in 2011 that's one more chance...to see if he's out there... one more chance to have a good time...one more chance to be me!  Well that in it's self is a good thing.

There will be no resolutions, only goals... those well I will keep to my self... but I hope I have some awesomely wicked new tales to tell... now I just have to decide if I'm gonna name names or keep it simple I mean... I don' t want to be that girl... either...so no names just yummy tales...of fun, fancy and I hope freaky LOL!

See you in the New Year my Loves and I pray that you enjoy all the things in heaven in 2011!

Take care... ooooh I hope I have a juicy bit to tell on Jan 1st... well the 4th when I get back to work! ;)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Finding Closure on your own!

At a point in time...I had to find my own closure with someone that I deeply loved... I was young and so was he... but I knew my love was real... and were not talking teenage love... I mean we we're both at the age where... people fall in love and get married.!  I didn't know if that was in the cards for us... but what I did know is that I was in love... his love well....!

Needless to say the relationship ended abruptly... with no real explanation... and certain things happened during that time that were life changing...I was left to deal with that pain alone...I even had to find my own closure because I didn't know if there would ever be a moment where we would just be able to sit down and talk...!

10 years later...he pops up, and in the most random of places gotta love facebook... and we decide to meet... I don't expect anything... and believe whole hearted that I had/have moved on... and much to my surprise... I had... I mean I actually had...seeing him was nice...it made me realize that I am a strong person and that I can handle pretty much anything... and the closure I had to seek on my own had occurred...!

Also, much to my surprise...He brought up the past and apologized for all he had done... and I had apologized for my doings in it as well... as it takes two to tango...we sat and just looked at each other for a while wondering if we could even just be friends again... I was a gamut of emotion... I went from feeling sorry for him and me... to understanding that it's hard to forget the past... but if you forgive the past it's easy to talk about the past...!

Although, some things remain the same a lot has changed... he's gone through alot  and so have I...but... there was one more thing I needed to know... because of the love I had for him... sometimes that just makes even the smallest act of intimacy that much deeper... so as we kissed.... there was no bells, no whistles, no bombs bursting in the air... it was done...!

That particular door was closed... I don't know if we will actually be able to be friends... I'm not even sure if we will see each other again... but I do know that Chapter of my life was, is and has been closed!

Sometimes I Wonder

Have you ever wonderd how different your life would be, if you had taken a different route, or made different decisions.  However, the decision at the time, was probably the best at that moment.

These social networks help you reconnect with people who you haven't seen, or talked to in a long time, and we are all much older and probably a lot wiser.  I use probably loosely cause who really knows.  Of course these things bring up memories and past loved ones or hated ones, that you used to deal with in college.

As I think on things and think wow, that could have been me married with 3 kids and a dog, living in not Los Angeles, and probably not following my dreams.  I have to wonder could it have been so.   Then I think well could I have my cake and eat it too.  Would someone have been supportive of me pursuing a career in Los Angeles, as and actress and the answer is who the hell knows!

Not that the men were not fantastic, in their own way because they were, and I start to realize that I probably dodged some major bullets.  And mostly I would probably have a lot of regrets.  Most of the men who were nearest and dearest to me at the time, were just people to show me what I wanted and deserved.  However, I bet if I poled them Los Angeles would not be their ideal place to live or raise children.

Got me to thinking you know, If my steps are ordered by God, he knew exactly where I would end up.  Did I forgo marriage and kids for career.  Well not exactly.  I don't know if I would have been ready for all of that right out of college.  Do I feel I may have missed the marriage boat.  Well maybe.  The pickens of men in college were far greater then I have now, but I still don't know if I'm ready.  Would I have done some things differently well sure, but I also know everything happens for a reason.

I have never been the type to go on about my wedding.  I have never sat and planned it, I don't have a book that I have had since I was 5, and been updating since.  I know that I desire it, and if it happens great, but if not I'm fine with that too.   I think I want kids, when I hold them and love them, there is a lil thing that says aww, I want one, but then, I also enjoy the freedom I have to get up and go.  Although I know things always do change, I guess I will just keep moving, and keep living each day one day at a time.

I guess I will always wonder what if, but it is time to let that go and live in the present.  Anytime you try and go backwards it never seems to work, and you can't change the past, so I guess I have to "Just Keep Swimming".

 

I guess what I'm saying is, I wonder if college was it, was it the only chance I had to have a marriage and a family, and did I blow it.  But, ours is not to wonder why ours it but to do or die.  So here I am doing, and knowing that if it's love and marriage and kids are meant for me then it will be!

I don't have to wonder anymore.

I Guess I'll See You Next Lifetime

I thought about you today...in fact I think about you a lot... a lil less than I used to... but more when I see you. I wish I had met you before... before life happend...before you made certain decision.s..I wish I was in the same State you are... or would have known you then.

Why are we sooo good together...you make me feel like I have never felt before...you give me butterflies in my stomach...and make me feel all giggly like a school girl...while making me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world...we barely say words to each other...and just by one look I know what you are thinking...and you the same.  You are a gentle giant and a beast when you work!  You love what you do...and I enjoy watching you do it...not only am I a friend I am also a fan!

We have shared some amazing times... when you look at me I feel like your looking right through me...you never turn me away or have a bad thing to say...I feel like the woman I am supposed to be when I am with you...our time is always cut short...but I always feel full until I see you the next time.  Damn you are so fine... I guess all of these words are going to rhyme!

The spark we have...the chemistry is undeniable...you can feel the heat pouring off of us...so I have been told...I have known you for a long time...you are a great talent and command so much attention...and yet...so gentle and loving to me.  I know that no one else really knows this side of you but me. 

Sometimes I wonder if this was Gods plan to dangle us in front of each other like a carrot...or if I did know you before would it be the same type of thing...would these feelings be as passionate or as real...if we did go out before...I can't wonder I suppose...cause the truth is only God knows!

When your not here... I miss you... I like you...I love you...I hate you for not being able to be mine...but hey who knows we might actually be together in our next lifetime!

This Thing Called Dating

Is a Mother Fucker!  That's the honest to goodness way to put it... now I see why people don't want to date and just be married and happy to be out of the single life... cause you finally get past most of the BS and find your mate.

I think I forgot that you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you can find your Prince... but there are so many... crazy selfish people out there...and by people I mean men...well the ones I have met so far anyway... not besides the ones that talk way to much... and lie about stupid stuff... what is that... stop saying what I want to hear and be honest with me.  Also, stop saying I really want to but I can't... cause if you really wanted you would...period... if not just say "No I can't"!

I don't know if these guys know of the simpler the better and not every woman is the same... there are some things you have to adapt to...but don't change who you are just to fit what you THINK I want... if you would just listen you would know what I need from you and I you.

Forgive me friends this is just a venting session... as I am happy to have my mojo back... and be back in the ring... The ring is stressful sometimes...and sometimes I wanna say F it I don't want to fight today.  Why can't things just be simple... I guess that would be too much to ask!

Epic if your out there... oh please be out there... I'm looking for you!

I'm Sorry Who's This?

Hello friends I hope the holiday was most enjoyable for you all... and mine was very eventful too... but this story I 'm about to tell is a doozy...more funny than anything... well let me just get to it.

So it is air apparent... that a lot of people seem to think the sun rises and set's in their ass.  And most men think women would rather suck a dick then eat a piece of cake!  Trust me in this case I would go for the latter.  A guy who I affectionately called Lil Buddy... and the reason he was nick named this is because he was my Fuck Buddy!  Text me few days after thanksgiving with this... and I quote " Hey hope you had a great Thanks Giving... and I hope you didn't think I forgot about you... but wanted say I like you and wanted to be friends on a platonic level"!  

My initial response admittedly was I'm sorry who is this... until I took a second and actually realized who it was... wait what WTF...seriously... ummm when was the last time I talked to you...  see it's a rule of mine to never keep the phone # of the booty call in your phone where you can immediately find it... so that you are not tempted to keep calling but you kind of know it's him.  What gave it away that I liked you?  Um the fact that I never call you before 11pm... I never want to hang out with you...I don't call I only text and when I do it's usually asking you to do me... How does that translate to I like you like that... and do you really think I'm sitting around pining after you... do I appear that desperate...Someone has a high opinion of themselves.

Honestly all I could do is laugh... and instead of being the harsh me...which in hindsight I wish I had been... I said "Good thanks (referring to thanksgiving) and WOW I didn't think there was anything more too it... just enjoyed fucking you no more no less!  So consider us cool... Man get the F outta here!  All you were was a dildo with a body attached... men I need you to play your position...just as you expect us women to please trust you have a position on our team as well... and Lil Buddy your position was filled... you are my "Friend on a platonic level" a day late and a dollar short.

But I commend you for having such high self esteem...but you could really kick rocks with flip flops!

It's Raining Men Hallelujah!

Well since my post... hello mojo.... Hellooooooo MOJO... I mean I'm not sure what's happening but I am going with it.

I think it is sooo true that men can smell other men on you... it's like they are like wait a minute... someone else is trying to piss on my tree... so I'm a piss back...or hey who's piss is this... no it's my tree.

I have had a very interesting week and am looking forward to see what's going to happen next... I almost want to stop this blog...cause if the men read it they are going to know... there is someone else sniffing around... but hey wait... maybe that's a good thing... then they have to step their game up.

Dating is fundamental... it is our duty to date and date often... you know keep our options open... start a bidding war LOL and be honest about it... I mean I am not going to blow up my spot and I definitely won't be disrespectful... but what you don't know won't hurt you and if you ask I will answer... So you have a boyfriend?  No but I date ;) how is that a problem... and men like a challenge right?

Well kiddies stay tuned... some of my stuff might die down for the holidays... but I will be back... and with some dating stories... oh the hazards of having a tell all blog... but the fun of a guy finding out he has some competition priceless! :)

Happy Thanksgiving to Me LOL!

Life's Good... Life's Grand... But Could Be A Bit Better If I Had A Good Man!

Yep I did it... I admit... I want a man... a companion... a bestie... a loved one... someone who knows me better than myself.  Whew that's wasn't as hard as I thought... and I don't even know why I was tripping... why not admit that to myself... I want a better half.

Now I know, two halves don't make a whole...in relationships... but two whole's make a movement.... and that's what I want a movement honey.  I think men think... that I am a spit fire... to much... to strong... but if you actually took time to pull back the layers you would probably see that I am just a girl... a laid back girl...who wants to be loved in that extra special way... that only a Great Man can love... so sorry if I don't settle for just anything... but I wasn't raised that way.  I love to cook...I love sports mainly football... I don't like drama... and I am the life of the party... not cause I'm trying too... just cause I am.

I am learning more and more the perception of me... but the one man who says... hmm there is more to her than what I think... and I want to know... is the one that I am going to marry... see people are always saying... don't put to much out there...don't show all your cards don't do this and don't do that... well...I say.. don't let me get away...I am honest maybe to a fault, but that is one extra thing to love about me.  Cause when I love him... he's gonna know it FULLY!

I was thinking I was going list all the things I want in a man but I realized that may be futile cause it is ever changing... and with all things it is a getting to know process...If I start making demands on the type of guy I want and putting list together... I may miss out on the guy I'm supposed to be with... cause there is only one person that knows exactly what I need and that's GOD.  But I also know the things that I would appreciate in the one that I love with in reason ;)

Now I am not crazy enough to think that a relationship is gonna be perfect... and I am also not crazy enough to think it doesn't take work... for the most part I am old fashioned in that way... If I were to be married... I'm married for life... Not till we get on each others nerves... or you decide your bored... Marriage is a union... an everyday work in progress... and the guy that I need... needs to be on that same page.

Ladies... do you have an idea of the man you want... who's gonna feed you... need you... lead you?  What your deal breakers are?  If not start thinking about it... date around...find out what you do and don't like all men are different.  I know as women get older there list become shorter and shorter and their requirements start to dwindle... I think its a good and bad thing... Good because you are now giving your self a real shot at love... but you might also settle for something less than great for YOU!  Like almost if you didn't settle for that one the next one would have been great!

Okay Okay...enough already... cause not only am I talking to you out there but I'm talking to my self too.  So in closing... to my lady friends if you know of any good men that you are not interested in...in any capacity... hook a sister up... and guy friends too... or if your a guy and reading this... and want to give a shot at pulling back some layers... I promise I won't make it that hard for you... well maybe ;)!

Why a Wing Man/Woman Is Important!

We all know that your friends can help generate and create some pretty fun opportunities... and at some point or another they become the person who helps navigate the cutie over there staring at you... to where you are sitting and then it begins.

At some point the roll of wing man switches depending on the situation... if there is a guy who is feeling your friend and not you...well sometimes you just have to take one for the team and entertain the not so appealing friend...you do this because... you want your girlfriend to be happy... and well you think he's a good possible catch for her too... and this is not his only friend... of course... you keep the not so appealing friend at arms distance because if things work out with the cutie and your friend... you have an opportunity to meet other men.  Then she can turn into your wing man.

It is very important that your wing man not be a hater... meaning... if there is a clear attraction between you and the guy...but she keeps asserting her self to attract attention of the guy... and not taking one for the team a horrible wing man will always want to leave and act like she's tired of talking to these dudes... while you plead to her to stay cause something is clearly happening between the guy you like and you... This is when you realize... she is not a cool wing man and probably won't go out with her in that capacity again.  Wing people just doesn't sound right and is not really a good idea... cause if it's too many women... a guy might feel too intimidated to come up and speak...so in these situations it's always good for it to be you and your homegirl...but if he is so bold...make sure the group of females you are with...really have your back... and boost you up...cause you would do the same for them!

What also makes a good wing person is that they can tell when it's going south...and usually you have a nice que that says get me outta here... your wing person then snaps into action  helping you avert the situation all together.   Saving you from the boredom and ignorance that has just taken place.

The reason other Men make good wing men... is because now a days men are bold and they don't care who your with... but your guy friend can talk you up... or be like this is my sis she's cool as hell... or what ever... the case is... you make a good wing man to your guy friends... cause women are like...who's this dope girl hanging out with this guy and why aren't they dating... well if your like family to him... you know his in's and outs... so who better to say... look he's a good guy...go for it!

I want to thank my wing women... cause it always changes... and thank them for knowing the rules and sometimes taking one for the team... as I do for them on occasion... but oh the fun we have! 

Do you have the right wing man... if not I suggest you re-evaluate...and adjust accordingly!

Easy Tiger!

There are a few things I need to remember in the dating game... But I think first and foremost... I need to remember that people don't think life is as urgent as I do.

I have had a seriously life altering thing happen to me... being diagnosed with cancer at such a young age... changes things it changes you....so much so...that you begin to think...why the hell would I need to be someone else for someone to love me...or why should I change who I am... the answer to that is... I don't have to...and I'm not going to.

I love me... I love the fact that I get a second chance at life and my plan is to live it to the fullest...and if you can't be down with that... then you can't be down with me...now with that being said...I do realize...men are a delicate situation... and because I'm on the "look how much thinking do you need to do?  Life is too damn short mode"... people ( men) are just not there with me.  So I get it I get it... If I like someone... I say so... if I want something I ask for it.   But I realize there is a bit of a game that has to be played, but it's very tuff for me to play... especially now with all this new information... tomorrow is not promised... so I live for the day.  Which (might) answer why I might Kiss or Have sex quick!

I also understand that this may come across as too much for some... and okay I get it... but at the same token get me too...or let's at least meet in the middle... Think of it this way... You like someone... they like you...you are so busy playing games and trying to be cool and you miss your opportunity to be with a really great person... I'm not sure who invented these silly rules...and everyone needing to have their ish together and all that...cause when you go... none if it is going to matter... if you would just let go and have a lil fun and be a bit spontaneous...I also understand that people are very protective of their hearts but what's the use in having a heart if you don't use it... You Love hard you may get hurt... but you will heal and love again... I promise!

I know I got a lil deep today...but it's the truth and you know it... LIVE a little....LOVE a little.....have FUN a little!  Looks like I just talked myself outta slowing down :)

Kissing Bandit

Dubbed the kissing bandit by a close friend of mine... I have to concur it's official... I love to kiss and further more apparently I love to kiss strangers...or they like to kiss me.   It seems my lips are some sort of becon of light and people are drawn to them...

It's like this... ever since I learned to kiss... which was late.. round 13 years old... I can't seem to stop ... I love lips... I love the way they feel... how people are able to use them... how soft they are... and the way they make you feel when they are used correctly.  And thank God up in heaven I haven't caught some un-godly disease or Mono or something... knock on wood.

This past week... I have made out... 3 times... once with someone I know (but was a stranger)... and twice with guys I had just met... I mean I guess my lips are just tantalizing... I mean I like them... they are full and from what I hear the softest lips in the world!  No lie I have been told that... Oh did I mention that one of these kisses was a celebrity... who shall remain nameless, and is not Black... if I told you who it was you wouldn't believe me... so I will just keep that memory too myself.. and well the other people that saw it know.  I am also keen on PDA... and they (the guys) seem to be keen on that too.

I think what really gets my goat... is I do very little to say hey kiss me... I used to think I had some sort of sign on my head that says if you like to kiss... kiss this with an arrow pointing down to my lips...for example...last night was minding my own business went to say good bye to a performer that performed and he started to kiss miss...next thing you know there was tongue...okay now even I was caught off guard by that one... and everyone always has the same reaction... Wow okay Wow...LOL!

Kissing is like a drug... its almost as good as sex... okay I take that back nothing is as good as sex... but it's close... I also know that I don't care how fine you are... or how good you look in a suit... or how charming you are... if you can't kiss we have nothing to talk about... and how is it at this age you don't know how?  So I guess I should be asking my self...if this is the best thing to do...when looking for a more solid relationship... and I say... to hell with it...life is too short... and let's be clear... I don't kiss or let just anyone kiss me... there has to be some sort of attraction/chemistry there before that goes down... but hell it sure is fun!  

So I'm gonna pull out my mask and cape cause the bandit ain't going no where! Hmmm that might even be a cute Holloween costume next year! ;)

Call Me Old Fashioned!

What happened to the days when a man actually called you on the phone to wish you good morning... or even left you a lovely message saying "Hi what are you doing... would you like to go out tonite!"  Then you call them back and talk for 5 hours and don't realize where the time has Gone... and please don't give me the I'm too busy crap... cause we make time for what we want.  Call me old fashioned but I want that back... there was a time when a suitor would come to the house and sit on the porch with the one he liked because there were no phones.

I know we live in the age of technology but there is nothing like the personal touch.  For some reason guys think it easier to text... because they may be "too busy" to talk... well it takes more time to type what you are saying then to place a call and for me to actually hear your voice... when texting, things can easily get lost in translation...and I feel like the voice of the person you like is the sweetest thing imaginable!  Okay, there are times when texting is okay... for example"running late" or "in a meeting and was thinking of you".

I love the sound of a voice when it's being sarcastic... Or telling some corny joke... it means a connection a bond like you are truly listening and understanding... and I the same for you... remember when people used to say.. you sound so sexy on the phone... and listen to your sleepy voice I love it!

Since when are we dating if all we do is text... and I haven't even seen your face since we met... I am smart enough to know you are not that busy.  Fellas, just know that to us it's like your not that interested... we thank you for the attention and taking the time... but really that's worth about a grain of salt.

What I really want to know is when this transition occurred and when did this become an acceptable form of communication for dating someone.  Dating this day and age has become some weird non traditional... hot mess of an activity... So at this moment thank you Greg for actually giving a sister a call... right after we met and leaving a message... and calling me to see if I wanted to go to lunch... Yes I do ;)!

 Kudos to the men who still value the personal touch...

To F*ck Or Not To F*uck- That Is The Question

Well I knew this would get your attention... LOL ...and when your first meeting someone your definately not making any love...sooo I think the title is appropriate.

There is still much debate on whether or not a guy will still like a woman if they have sex on the first date.  I have talked to plenty of guys/girls and have gotten various different opinions... but here is what I believe..

I think if you want a substantial relationship with someone... it's not good to have sex on the first date... or the first anything... I also think that guys say it's okay cause REALLY they just want to get it... and will say anything to do so.

I do however think and know there are certain cases where it doesn't really matter (on the first date) and that's.  If you have known the guy for a while already possibly socially and you guys decide to see what's what and go on a date... you might have sex on that first date but a relationship had already been kind of established so no it's not a big deal... and just adds to the reasons you liked each other in the first.. place... the second is when they guy likes YOU way more than you like him... and no matter what happens he just likes you... so it's not a turn off if you screw early cause he just plain old wants to be with you.

Now some of you may agree with me on this or not... but for me... and this is being very honest I know I have to be screwing someone else in order to not have sex with the guy I like... carnality is a usual process... but if I really want to get to know someone I mean really know someone I can't have sex with them on the first date... cause honestly... I loose interest... or they become what everyone tends to become a booty call.

Some of you are probably thinking wow.. this is wow... and your right...I am honest and I may be shooting myself in the foot a bit... but hey...life is too short to play games with yourself or anyone else...so if your footloose and fancy free... get your freak on!  Otherwise.. try and keep the goodies for a while...then you will see what is really going on :)

Hello Mojo!

For a while I was of the opinion my mojo had left me... it was no where to be found... I couldn't seem to get any love from anywhere... and by love I mean... any spark... not even static... I was feeling a bit un-sexy...just un everything... and usually I don't have problems with that... but my mojo meter was waaaay down.  

Then.........

I don't know if this blog has conjured up some sort of high powered signal... or if the hair change has made me look like a different person... or maybe I am carrying myself differently... I don't know... but this weekend was very interesting.  I think maybe it's because I was just open and feeling flirty... but way more men were approaching me. I was flirting and talking... some just came up not to ask for a number but just for friendly conversation... It was NICE... now of course some of them... were way out of line... and had to be checked...but otherwise not bad at all... and to cap it all off...well let's just say a marathon event happend...and it was nice... I haven't had much sexual contact in a while... not really purposely... but just not following my old trends...okay my agressive trends...don't judge me... I just want what I want and I go after it...and sometimes I feel like a guy needs a lil help to seal the deal.

So much to my surprise and delight the drought is over...yeah I said... I had sex... and it was good...no it was great... and although the person shall remain nameless.  I want to thank him... for being interesting and nice and making me feel like the hottest thing since sliced bread... and for being a gentleman.. Who knows if this will happen again... it was fun and not in the okay thanks see ya later way... in the hmmm maybe there is more to it... and hopefully we will hang out... maybe even become good friends...:) aww who am I kidding... I don't know what's gonna happen... but I know my MOJO is back and I missed her!

Don't Knock It Till You Try It!

There is sometimes this grand debate on black women dating white men... well I am truly and equal opportunity employer... and have dated some of everyone...and by everyone...even Asian!  

I have also dated every shape... size... and color... I mean how are you supposed to know what you want unless you try it... it's like a wine tasting... you pour your self a little... swish it around your mouth....then hmmm... I like this one and I don't like that one... or maybe I will stick with this...or try this one next time.

My point why limit yourself... now I think things get touchy when someone tries to push an opinion on you... about which race is better to date and blah blah blah...I'm not going to do that...because honestly and man is a man... and I am clearly still single...so race makes no difference... but what is different... is choices... and opening up your dating pool... if every black woman is going after a black man... and so is every other race of the female persuasion... then your chances are limited.

Black men have a ton of options... and we limit ourselves... and then ask why can't we find a good man... well you only want to find a Good Black Man... not a good Man... cause he is out there.. he just may not be in the package you think... and you will never know... cause you won't step outside of the box.

I hear all the time... other races don't hit on me and I don't think they are looking at me... well it's cause you are not looking at or for them and they can tell... it starts by just simply having a conversation and then see what happens... go for coffee... you don't have to kiss or make out or anything... and eureka... you are on a whole new dating path... then the doors will open up... and you are back on a dating spree!

Take it from me... you can't talk about something you don't know about... so try it you might like it :)

Dickmatized!

Ladies...Ladies... Ladies... step a way from the penis and focus on this blog cause we need to do better... now I know... there are a lot MORE women who can't have sex and not be emotionally tied... but there are SOME who can. Now I am saying this to say... that when you are being called after a certain time... let's call a spade a spade... booty call time... and you are not seen in public with said dude...safe to say... that is what you are and that is what you are going to stay a booty call.

Now if you knew this and said you were cool with it... then Damn it... be cool with it.  Don't go flipping the script and changing it up on him  and for damn sure don't fall in love with it (the dick)...Okay maybe I'm being a lil too harsh for some... but one thing I know... good dick is just that good dick... and the thing attached to it... well that's just that extra layer of man-ness that you need... cause sometimes you don't want to deal with plastic and or batteries... you want that MAN connection... I get it... I get it... but if you just maybe took the time to realize this guy is doing you a favor because he clearly is not available to do.,or offer anything else at this time... then maybe you wouldn't be hurt...the best thing to do is to be honest with your self first.. cause trust pussy doesn't change anyone's mind.  

It (pussy) has gotten men in trouble in the past and wars have started.  Not because it was soo good but the man's ego was hurt. You stole my girl she's mine and blah blah blah.  There is a difference... usually people want what they can't have... so you might be surprised to know... that when you don't give a hoot and you stick to the agreement... how quickly tables will turn and HE is then asking you... what am I to you... and blowing up your phone...trust me it happens!  Now some of you may say... that's playing games... but trust.. a lil game must be played...or else it's no fun! :)

To Whom It May Concern!

To: Men
From: Me (and or women who feel me)
Re: Being real, and the way you approach a lady

To Whom It May Concern:

Please understand that when speaking to a woman, you can not approach each woman the same way.  Yes we know that if you have used that approach, and 9 times out of 10 it has worked then why change.  Well I guess that means you get what you ask for. 

However, the one time you change your approach, you might find yourself in a new found territory, that really intrigues you.   You might actually find the woman you say you really want, instead of the crazy, needy, young acting, immature women you continuously use the 9 times out of 10 lines with.

How bout this, if you get past the initial meeting, try listening to the woman and feel her out, see what she has to say, and ask her questions regarding actual statements she has made. 

Also, if there are signs that the woman is crazy, (which there always are) you may want to go running for the hills.  Because other women really don't want to hear about your crazy baby momma drama.  And how all of sudden out of the clear blue sky this woman is stalking you and calling and emailing the women you date, and saying your still together when your not.  We just don't!

Sincerely,

Me!

After hearing this time and time again from friends men included, because don't get it twisted (WE WOMEN CAN BE JUST AS BAD).  You know the women who take a good guy and break him down so bad he's no good to any body anymore. 

I don't speak for all women I am just making and observation, However, I have heard too many women including myself speak about how crazy this is.  Dating, Marriage, wooing, it's not rocket science, but if your just looking to kick it or just sex and nothing more just say so.  So no one's time is wasted.  JUST SAY SO!  Life is not complicated people are.

Girls Night was Invented for Married Women

I have been dooped... okay well maybe it's not so critical... but honestly I don't want to do not narry nother narry girls night... why because I have no reason too... and while I am spending all this time with the girls...who mind you have men, married or at least someone they are seeing...it is taking away from critical date time.

Okay so I might not even have any prospects right now... but if I am hanging with the girls all time how am I supposed to get one... I mean I love my girls but I need some penis energy every now and again! 

We also know women in large groups are intimidating to men... so no one is likely to approach the pack of hens...especially when we are there talking about the antics of the man you are with and how happy we (them not me) are with out them at this moment in time.


Don't get me wrong I love my girls... but I'm trying to have a girls night to get away from my boo too...not cause every night is a girls night!

She's A Man Eater...Who Me?

So a friend... not a close friend.. but a friend who is also a guy... I seem to have a lot of those lately... guy friends... tells me that I am intimidating to men.  Of  course something that I have heard before from other male friends... side bar this male friend thing seems to be a trend... is it because I intimidate them, and what's to handle.

I'm pretty simple... I love to f*uck (and all that comes with it ;)...kiss... I Love to cook... read...blog... dance... and sports (mostly football)... so what's so intimidating.  I am low maintenance... I hate drama... I will always be honest with you... and well maybe that's the problem... maybe I'm too much like a guy.

He told me that it's the way I walk in to the room...I look like I'm a man eater... and that I don't take no stuff! Okay? and that's a problem... I mean how am I supposed to walk in a room...if confidence in one's self is cause for you to run to the hills then maybe I don't need him... and why should I have to dumb my self down just to get a man... I believe that God has someone for everyone... and my Mr. Right... is out there... and note I did not say my Mr. Perfect... Cause God knows there is no such thing.

I tried to get him to tell me specifically what made me so intimidating and he couldn't really answer.. all he could say is how men feel about women they are intimidated by. Men want to feel needed... men want to take control of situations... men blah blah blah... let's be clear... I know all this... and it just so happens I'm a single lady... so I am FORCED to do a lot of stuff on my own... cause I don't have a GUY in my life I can count on... PLEASE be the man... cause I don't want to... but if  what you are looking for is some passive woman... who won't challenge you and by challenge I mean... be a partner and help you reach your goals cause she see's what your capable of then... I'm not the one for you.

I appreciate what he said... and some stuff I agreed with and some stuff I didn't but bottom line... I am who I am... I have been through a shit ton and have come out on the other side... Life is about living... not about dumbing down and worrying about who you might be intimidating... and that guy is there...ready to take on this challenge.  I am ready to be "Whipped" into shape ;)

Riddle Me This!

I need to understand why men get so up in arms when a woman expects more than just going to coffee on a date... Now I understand the economy is bad... and everyone is cutting back on expenses... but weren't you that same dude that was buying up the bar at the club last night... I mean... isn't that a bit contradictory?

That's how you got her in the first place... and clearly you knew what you were doing. Okay so maybe it wasn't your bottle...it was "your boys" but you were the one passing out the shots and singing "You Fancy Huh".  Mackin all up in the ear telling her you wanna take her out... then you invite her to coffee is it me or is that false advertising... You aint got to lie to kick it... and if you cheap be cheap all the time...or maybe you blew your wad with your portion of the liquor bill I mean that ish is expensive...hell you could bring in a flask and have her sip on that LOL!  

I guess my point is if you portray yourself as one thing and it is false... how is anyone supposed to take you seriously... and how are you gonna fault someone for not wanting to go to coffee with you.  Doesn't make them stuck up... they are just going off the information YOU provided... and let's be honest...you thought you were hot shit...when you were at your table and you KNEW why she was at your table...I'm just sayin... Like a moth to a flame!

Come On Son

A few weeks ago I went to a party during the MBA weekend...mind you I thought it was for something totally different... anywho... I was at the party and wore shoes that clearly had a deadline... so I danced as much as I could and then found a spot on a speaker to sit... and sit dance.

Now mind you there were men from every where at this party... beautiful black men... and not one the whole time I was there said anything... some smiled and admired... said hello as I flittered my lashes... but not a hey how are you and what's your name.

By the end I was like what the heck...(to my friends) you guys were the mac's of the year and I was sitting there on my speaker...which was pumpin some fantastic base if you know what I mean... My friends quickly pointed out that I was sitting the whole time... okay I will give you that... but I was still in the middle of the action. 

So while getting out of the car... I saw one of the guys I flirted with all visually, no words exchanged at the bar... he finally said something of course hell a late... and while everyone was trying to go home...so no time to talk... I give him my card... he calls me immediately...1AM talkin bout I wanna see you... Ummmmm NO!  Oh and PS he has no car... should have ended there right... wait it gets better... so he text me (hate it but ok) Good Morning... what are you up to today... I tell him and right in the middle of our text... he sends half naked picture... WHAT?  We were talking about how's work and your sending pictures... really....really...ugh! On top of it all the pictures are NOT sexy...and I already know what you look like!  COME ON SON!  Icing on the cake... he works (a barber) for celebrities and ball players...his words not mine...then why in the hell don't you have a car?

If this is what a girl has to look forward too...God help us all!

What Did you say?

Okay I'm sure your thinking what the hell kind of blog is this... and why would you call it that... well I got to thinking... I am a 30 something living in LA and struggling to find Love, Romance, and Passion (is that even possible)!  Not from friends and family of course but a good... decent ...loving... not drama...not crazy... and God fearing man... who can handle all that is me... so I thought why not write about my capades... be it datecapades...sexcapades... or what ever capade I like.

Or talk about how I'm not dating... and how much fun I'm having being me and loving life!

We also know that I am a breast cancer survivor and have had a double mastectomy... so not only does a man have to love my fab personality but he has to be okay with the fact that I am scarred but no worse for ware... I also have things he can hold.  He may not be able to suck... I mean we can do the lick the part ( like Tisha Cambell in School days) well you get my drift...So here it is...! 

I hope you enjoy it... I will try and keep this as up to date as possible... Pleas feel free to comment... and tell me if you love it or hate it... hey it's all relative!