Feeling Like My Old Self Again!

Whooo, this has been an interesting few months...well i will say the past 8 months have been crazy.  My mother was hit by a car and I have become her care giver it has been a slow recovery process for her but, now that she is getting better and about ready to come home.  I have had the chance to re-focus on my needs as well.

I think sometimes we get so caught up in what's happening around us, that we just loose sight, and forget to check in on our selves.  Honestly since this incident there hasn't been a ton of sexin in my city...nor has there been any male connection in a while.

I have realized one thing through this whole thing, and that is,  always Do You, Take Care of You, and make sure you are okay.  Yes you have people who will check on you...who will come and help you, but no one can really help you make sense of things but you.  After stepping back and letting the smoke clear...you sometimes look around and think gosh now I am just left with me.  My needs, my want's, my desires...I have crossed hurdle after hurdle...and yet again it's just me.

In times of tragedy, it is easy to shut down, to just kind of let it pass and pray you get through it and honestly after all I and my mom have been through it is a blessing that we are even still standing (if you read this blog fully you will get the picture!).

It has not been easy by any means, but with a ton of faith, some therapy, and wonderful friends I was able to stay pretty present...and in this realize that the one thing I need is me!  So, I have been doing that, taking care of me...what ever I need I do, it's important...it's really not about a mate, that will come...it's not even about dating someone...it's about connection...the only way to connect with someone truly is if neither party is trying to find completion in the other.  I am not trying to have someone help me forget where I have been...that would just be pushing those feelings a side.

I guess i'm saying all this to say,  it's not the end of the world, I have been drug through the mud and I am still standing...standing tall and taking care...and if I may add looking damn good doing it...I feel better than I have felt in a really long time because well...I choose to...I chose me, and from now on that is non-negotiable.