Where Has Your Self Worth Gone

I had to take a deep breath when writing this one, cause what the hell are we doing out here.  My goodness. I know I have been off the dating scene for some time.  Dealing with life, working on self, and what not. However, I didn't know that the state of humanity in dating was going straight to hell in a hand basket.

Women are so confused about themselves and men have just become lazy,  everyone has advice, on the do's and don't but, do you even listen to yourself.  Everyday I see post of Why this and Why that, do this and do that, and if you want something different do something different.  Coming from people who honestly need to shut the hell up.  When did you become the dating guru, when everyone reading knows yo shit stinks worse than anyone's.  What work did you do to move past your issues of the past, are you in a viable relationship where you can give the best and most unbiased advice.

One thing I don't do is give advice to married people, I'm not married, and wouldn't even dream of it.  I'm still looking for my match, and you can say, aren't I doing the same thing giving advice.  No I'm just saying STOP IT.  I see what your doing to your self, but I or no one else can want better for you than you want for yourself.

When did we become so complacent and lazy about love,  when did we start settling for just okay, and not what we truly deserve.  When did we start playing wife instead of waiting for what we really want,  That clock is ticking crap come on.  Most of these women settling are the one's who are in church praying for a good man, but can't seem to leave the horrible one they have so they can't get that blessing.   Oh I know, cause we have given up.  On ourselves, on our journey's on our self worth.  You are with that man cause you chose to be, you can leave, he ain't even doing anything for you, but you rather stay cause you don't want to be alone.  Um and men don't even get me started on that.

Women will listen and believe anything and everything just to say they have a man.  When he cheats and whatever else you complain about what do you do.  You stay and continue to complain.  Gone are your friends gone is your self respect, you got a couple of kids and your a single parent.  Yet homeboy can come and lay up and play daddy when ever he wants and your fine with that. The point is your fine with that.  So who is to blame.  YOU, at the end of the day it's YOU, is now and forever will be.

You make choices everyday which way you wanna go.  You constantly blame the other girl or him but at the end of the day what is the common denominator.  YOU.  Men will tell you anything you need to hear and you want to hear it,  without stopping to think is this sincere, or wait how can that be when your already married or you live with someone else.  This topic is exhausting.  I feel like Spike Lee at the end of School Daze WAKE UP!  PLEASE WAKE UP!

Surrender

Happy New year everyone, I know it's been a while since you've heard from me, but I feel like it's important to have something important to say.  Then waste your valuable reading time on nonsense.  With that being said.  2014 has already been extremely gratifying in ways I have never imagined.  

After my experience with my own cancer, then my mother's cancer, and then my mom being hit by a car.  Yes, it's been interesting to say the least, but in the words of Ceily in The Color Purple,  "but I'm here, I'm here".  I am a living testimony of the matchless grace of God.  I have seen his miracles honey and they are something.  He continues to do miracles in me, and my mom.

The past 9 years have been some of my best and my worse.  However, one thing I know for sure, my life is not my own.  I chose a bit a go to do what we are all supposed to do as children of God and that is surrender.  I surrendered it all!  Myself, my thoughts, my desires, my fears.  All of it.  I am sharing this now, because I need to see, and I needed witnesses to the fact that this is true.  Anyone, who know's me knows.  I don't run around preaching or telling folks the way to the Lord is Christ.  That is your own spiritual journey, and I do not negate that.  All I can say is what I know.  Since I have done it my life has been full.

Okay let's be clear, I'm human, and not perfect, and some times I look around that imaginary corner to see if there is something I should look out for.  I don't just always walk right out LOL, but I know if I am tenative all I have to do is call on him and he helps me out.  There are some things that I will share in time, about what other things he has blessed me with, in regard to my surrender.  But, if me being alive and my mom being alive and walking after surviving cancer and then her and her friend being hitting by a car while crossing the street.  Flying 100 feet being in the hospital system for 2 years and still around to talk about it.  Is not enough for you to at least think about it, well I don't know what to tell ya!

There are things you struggle with often, and there is no need.  You can only control the way you react, and that's pretty much it.  Your journey is yours, you will most definately have trials, believer or not.  Things will not always work out the first time, sometimes not even the second.  It's all a way to see what you are made of.  Trust me I know first hand.

Okay...okay...enough of this stuff, but if you could just try to throw your hands up and shout out loud you handle it.  Cross bridges when you get to them, don't fret or worry, cause when I tell ya it's always on time it is.  

I hope this year brings you all the desires of your heart, but mostly I hope, that you can get out of your own way.

Warmly,

Nikea