YOU THINK YOU HAVE PROBLEMS, YOU GUYS ARE NO WALK IN THE PARK!

This post is not about male bashing, or saying all men are this and that, but it remains to be seen, that people, men and women, need to realize that they are dealing with a living, breathing, emotion having human being.

I am little out of practice when it comes to dating, I admit it, my last few years I have to deal with a lot of personal things.  Mostly dealing with my health or my mothers.  Now that I'm trying to see what's out there, all I seem to find are these broken men, who seemingly have it together, until one day they just say something out of the clear blue that obviously has nothing to do with you.  There is this trigger, a word... a something, that someone used to say to them, but they probably never really had a response for it.  Now you un-knowingly say that thing and it feels like you just got hit with a cannon.  

They try and destroy you with their words, and you begin to feel like a cartoon character when the wind blows too hard and their hair and stuff flies off and all your left with is a skeleton.  Your caught so off guard by this, there is just no words.

So here in lies the issue, how do you fix that, how do you change it.  I know I can't personally help you.  You need help, professional help, someone to talk to about your problems.  I am sorry for all the things that you have been through, but I am not the cause of them.  I have in advertedly inherited someone else's stuff. Some woman he didn't seek closure from. Or some past hurt that he still clings to for dear life.

Listen, I know you don't always know or realize that one particular thing is a problem.  But when it does come up I pray your able to recognize it and apologize.  Ego a side. Just a plain I'm sorry.   I know what your used to dealing with, and you continue to deal with cause you haven't dealt.  Just, like women, men pick the same woman, hoping for a different result.  Not gonna happen.

Please hear me when I say this.   Another person can't fix something that is already broken, I can't make a half a whole, I can only love you and appreciate you where you are.  However, you don't have to be all the way together, but working towards getting your self together.  It's time we took a step back and looked at the bigger picture again.

These reality shows and nonsense where broken humans are screaming and fighting broken humans just perpetuates this.  We watch crap like this and think this is what LOVE is supposed to look like.  Drama and kicking and screaming.  Take stock, what do you really want and need, and maybe we can figure it out together.

Be well young man, cause the sheer denial of the fact that you don't think you have a problem.  Speaks volumes about the fact that you do.  

I AM NOT A LESBIAN!

I bet your thinking uhhhh what's with that title and I haven't seen a blog post from her in a while.  I kind of ran out of passion for writing this blog.  I mean how can it be Sex in the City, when there is no sex to speak of.  Then I kept thinking about it.  This blog is not necessarily about sex-capades or how many men I have or don't have.  It's about me.  The good the Bad and the ugly.  I have gone through different variations of my life.  Good and bad, but I am still no worse for ware.

I called this particular blog, I am not a lesbian, cause I haven't had anything sniffing around any part of me, that I'm starting to think people think I am hiding something.  I even had someone ask me, am I gay HA!  I simply replied "I wish, at least then there might be some hope"!  Hahahahaha.  No, I am not gay, and no there is no man to speak of in my life.  Do I want one absolutely, will I have one maybe?  Only God knows for sure.  

However, what I know for sure is that I am finally a whole person, a whole person on my own.  I still have flaws, but like Iyanla says I have done the work, I have worked on myself so that, the wonderful whole man that comes into my life, will have his mate.  He who finds a wife finds a good thing. Truth, marriage now a days, I can take it or leave it.  A wonderful mate/companion to enjoy time with and have fun on dates and travel.  A bestie with full benefits is my idea of a good thing.  If HE wanted to get married I would definitely consider it.  I mean hey why not.

Some of you may be reading this thinking, wow if only it were that simple.  The truth is...IT IS that simple.  We make our own lives complicated and convoluted. So much so, we don't know which way is up.  We have spent so much time convincing ourselves that it's everyone else's fault, or everyone else that's crazy that we have lost touch with reality.

At the end of the day happiness is what matters, being able to wake up and be proud of every choice you made, and live with no regret, because each thing has taught you a lesson and brought you to this beautiful space your in now.

So no, I don't have a man, and I for sure don't have a women (ho homo tee hee), but when he comes along he will be proud of me and I will be proud of him.  We will be a team, and I am sooooooo looking forward to that.